ChicagoPride.com Blogs
Saturday 14 Oct 2006

A MATTER OF TIME…

I'm sick of all the local news programs in Chicago, they all think that they have something more to offer than the other stations, even though they clearly all show the same news stories over and over again. The worst one being the channel 9 news in the morning. They think that they are so funny and clever and that friggin internet segment is so stupid. Those weather people are a piece of work. I'm pretty sure that all they do is lookup the weather on the internet and then stand in front of those computer maps that they probably put together with PowerPoint. They only true weather forecaster or Meteorologist is Tom Skilling, yes he's on channel 9 but he comes on during the professional news. He actually studied weather and has been forecasting since before the days of computers. Back to the point of this piece. Did you ever look up in the sky and notice 4 helicopters all flying in the same area? It's all the friggin news channels covering the same thing, with the same angles. I think it's silly when they give you a traffic alert and it's like this insignificant accident on some street you never heard of and don't care about. It's just a matter of time before 2 of those helicopters crash into each other. I wonder if they'll keep rolling the cameras, could you imagine we'd get a bird's eye view of the crash not to mention the footage from the other helicopters.
 
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Saturday 16 Sep 2006

THE CROC HUNTER, WHAT A CROCK!!!!!

People never cease to amaze me. I'm pretty sure you've read about the unfortunate "accident" (as in I accidentally jumped in front of a moving vehicle) that befell Paul Hogan Jr. I was just amazed that it didn't happen sooner and bloodier. His home country must have nothing else better to do. I was reading that they were going to declare some kind of day in his name and that he has been to many state dinners with important politicians from his country. Maybe Georgy Boy should invite those knuckleheads from the jackass movies to the white house. Sure it was a tragedy but who in the hell told him to go swimming with stingrays!!! What the hell was he expecting? Animals are called animals for a reason, they are unpredictable, nobody can tell what their gonna do. We don't have gills or fins; we were not really meant to be in the water let alone in there taunting some dangerous animal. Of course it stabbed him with its spear, it felt threatened. How would you feel if you were walking around minding your own business and some guy with a weird accent started pulling on your corn rolls!!! I think you would get pretty upset now wouldn't you. Here's the funny thing, they say the police have a tape of him getting attacked by the stingray and are holding it for evidence. What the hell are they gonna do arrest the stingray, maybe bring it in for questioning, maybe they can find out if it has a rap sheet. I'd like to see those mug shots.

Well I gotta get back to my bagel and shmear.
Tuesday 5 Sep 2006

Where did the "hood" go?

For those of you that are old enough to remember, at one time the people that lived in the Humboldt Park area were keeping it real (like they say in the hood). By that I mean it was a place that you could call home. It was a place that when you passed by you could say hello to your favorite bum or drug dealer, a place where the people that were actually raised in Chicago could afford the rent, a place where outsiders dared not tread. If you walked through there today you can't tell where you're at. It used to be that when you saw somebody running in the park it was because they were running from the police!!!! Now its 45 year old soccer moms power walking at like 4:30 in the morning, the area has been scrubbed and cleaned for your pleasure just like the rest of Chicago. I remember a time back in the late 70's early 80's when you had to be out of downtown before night fall, because that's when, Like DALEY'S people say "all the undesirables come out". Chicago has become one big POSER of a city. It's a trend that’s been going around. Look at what happened to TIMES SQUARE in New York. I feel like a stranger in my own city, a city that I have stood by and it burns me up that this mayor has sold its soul to a bunch of money toting developers which in turn sell it to people that are not even from this state. CHICAGO HAS BEEN WHORED OUT!!!! Every thing that made Chicago famous is gone. That’s what you get for wanting progress people. Halsted Street is next (anybody wonder why manshole is now hydrate?). Heed my warning people; it's already on its way to being stripped and cleaned. Haven't you noticed all the baby strollers and kids in the area?
Wednesday 30 Aug 2006

MOVIE REMAKES!!!!!

I've been away for awhile to take care of a family crises which is still on going but now i'm back.
Anybody else out there sick and tired of movie remakes? I don't know who in the hell thinks that they can remake a movie but just throwing in some hack actors. What really drives me nuts is when they remake movies that were out in my life time, for example THE FOG: 1982. I remember seeing it when it came out. The remake was horrible, not only was it lacking the great score created by John Carpenter but no Adrian Barbou, Not to mention the other classic actors that were in that movie. What a lot of people don't get is that what made a lot of those movies so great were the actors playing those particular roles, in a lot of cases it has nothing to do with the story of the movie. For example THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, the remake with Jennifer Beals a train wreck. What made the original a classic was the fact that it was done on a low budget thus giving it an almost realistic look (kinda like Blair Witch). I don't know how many of you paid attention to the score of that film? THE OMEN remake, the preview alone made me wanna through a hammer at my T.V. set!!! This was another one of those cases where you could not remake this film because one of the most important elements that made this film very successful was the brilliant score by Jerry Goldsmith. His score is a very important part of the movie, just like how the score in HALLOWEEN made it the classic it is. Now we got THE WICKER MAN remake? Are they insane, you can't replace CHRISTOPHER LEE with NICOLAS CAGE!!!! One of the reasons to see the wicker man is CHRISTOPHER LEE. I think the only movie that warranted a remake and may I add this director didn't make the same mistake a lot of the other remakes do was KING KONG. King Kong came out in the 30's I believe, when it was very hard to achieve the monster effects. What I like about it is that he didn't throw in some hip hop idiots' that think he/she can act just to attract audiences and he left it in the same setting as the original. I think what should be done is that the originals should just be re-released in theaters just like ALIEN. In closing if anybody wants to know where Jim Carrey gets all of his material, checkout any of Jerry Lewis's solo projects, especially THE LADIES MAN.
Thursday 17 Aug 2006

THE ROAMING GNOME STRAIGHT OR GAY?

Has anybody noticed that little lawn garden statue in those Travelocity commercials? He's kinda straight acting, but at the same time he kinda dresses the part. He's one those "I'm straight but I play a gay character" type of gnomes. Kinda like how ANGELA LANDSBARY did all those years. I'm really not sure if he knows he's kind of unusual. Has anybody noticed if he has a visible bulge or panty lines? I wonder if he gets scale for those commercials. Why are some people so frigging hard up for those single seats? This lady almost knock me down just so that she can get that single seat. I wish we still had those old buses where all the seats were double and you had no choice but to sit next to someone. What's the deal with the bike racks on those buses? It kind of defeats the purpose of riding a bike. I was wondering if there was some way that you can disguise yourself as a bike. You would need somebody to load you onto that rack. I think if you throw a couple of tires over yourself and then maybe paint your butt black (so as to resemble a bike seat) you can probably pull it off. A great advantage would be that you would save $2.00 and of course you would be able to enjoy the fresh air. Has anybody out their ever tried to put any Canadian quarters into the fare box? I have a couple to unload. I've tried to put them in different vending machines but they won't accept them. My fear is that if I put one in there a bunch of bells and whistles will go off and I would be promptly arrested. I think that the president should put Nancy Drew on the Osama Binladen case, but without those pesky Hardy Boys, I think they would only slow her down. I seriously considered Scooby Doo and the gang but

01. I don't think that you can get Scooby Snacks in IRAK and you know that Scooby is one of those neurotic dogs.

02. Shaggy drags his feet and that would definitely slow em down because he'd be getting sand in his shoes and they'd get all heavy.

03. Its bad enough that they can't understand English so you can imagine them trying to understand Scooby.

04. Scooby could wear a turban and fit in but the rest of the gang look like gringos.

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