Friday 23 Jun 2006

The Top 5 Ways to Annoy Your Co-Workers

1) Page yourself over the intercom but DO NOT disguise your voice.
2) Send e-mails to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you are doing- for example, "In case anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
3) Put a chair facing a printer and sit there all day telling people you are waiting for a document.
4) Every time a co-worker asks you to do something, ask them if they would like fries with that.
5) Steal everyones stapler then ask them to borrow it.
Tuesday 9 May 2006


A woman from Chicago and another from the East coast
were seated side-by-side on an airplane. The woman
from Chicago, being friendly and all, said:

"So, where are you from?"

The East coast woman said, "From a place where they
know better than to use a preposition at the end
of a sentence."

The woman from Chicago sat quietly for a few
moments and then replied:

"So, where are you from, bitch?"
Tuesday 9 May 2006

In Remembrance

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community here in America.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he was a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and feel free to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who kneads it.
Tuesday 9 May 2006

Smile, even through your tears

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him"
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.

Because when you decide that it is the right time it might
be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends
and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.

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